Wise Decisions

Anytime I am going to something where I know I am sure to get misty-eyed, I don waterproof mascara.  Weddings, funerals, dance shows, art exhibits, baby showers.  You name it.  My emotions spill.  Boy, has the college exodus put that mascara to the test.

This one particular brand of waterproof mascara has been very reliable and held up admirably to a variety of challenges.  Until now!   Under extreme conditions, it does not perform well at all. I had hoped it would.  But, no.

There was a time recently that I completely gave up on any mascara.  A temporary sacrifice but what a time-saver.  I considered the monetary savings and started to fantasize.  All that ended abruptly when folks would ask me, "How are you holding up with your beloved son 3,000 miles and 3 time zones away, living on a campus you did not even visit with him during the decision-making process?"  Now, I make time for mascara no matter what.  I even carry it with me for a quick "fresh-up".

That's what I did yesterday.  Ready to put my make-up on, I burst into tears.  I don't remember the thoughts that preceded the outburst.  It might have just been spontaneous.  Then, it was gone.  Dry-eyed, I proceeded to apply my social mask so my friend and I could take our girls shopping.  That was a true act of motherly love as mall shopping is something I do only as often as my semi-annual visit to the dentist.  I look forward to both with equal disdain but understand their necessity and shopping would definitely help stimulate the economy in a small, I-have-to-remember-Spring-tuition kind of way.

Getting to spend time with the girl + her friends and my friend was inviting regardless of the venue.  So, off on our adventure we all went.  Being a passenger was a welcomed position to be in as I shed my chauffeur's hat and nestled into the comfy seats.  My friend and I caught up quickly and easily.  Soon, the topic turned to our boys. Young men, really.  But, they go way back.  All the way to preschool and through high school.  Legos, soccer, physics, video games.  So, we have known them longer as boys than young men.  Anyway...

I listened attentively to her stories of her son who is a sophomore at a college five or so hours away.  Since I didn't listen well before when moms were offering their stories on the subject, I moved to the edge of my seat to prepare to fully engage and store the information for later use.  What came out of her mouth next astonished me.  My jaw dropped.  My eyebrows arched.  You could hear the quick intake of my breath. She admitted to never having cried once since her son left.  Could it be?  I fantasized about the day when I wouldn't cry. Just one day.

After my initial thought of throwing my waterproof mascara at her, I reveled in having found the opposite swing to my pendulum.  How interesting that each of us walks this path so individually.  As parents, it is an inevitability to watch our children fly the nest.   The bittersweetness of helping your children grow up with confidence is that they want to move on with their lives.  We all simply respond to this event differently. Just like our kids.

So, this morning, I took a deep breath. Fumbling through my make-up bag, I pushed right past the waterproof stuff.  If my son can risk moving so far away, I can risk the possibility of runny mascara for a day.  So far, so good!