Sure, it's been sixteen weeks. A lifetime for some species that share our planet. It certainly feels like a lifetime when the day in and day out mundane is missing. Not the big events I can't even imagine sharing from afar (like Thanksgiving...erg!), just sitting on the couch watching a corny movie or driving to soccer training together 2 or 3 times a week. That is what I miss the most, your physical presence. Skype, texting, email, Facebook- all ways to feel connected. Virtual hugs just don't do it! A panacea for the psyche.
The void doesn't always feel so abysmal. My career is fulfilling and challenging and full of laughter. Our younger daughter is still home, practicing stretching her wings. Life's daily distractions. The quiet time calls forth tears, flowing freely. Gut-wrenching pain, at times. Then, as swiftly as it comes on, it passes but is waiting right around the corner for the next quiet moment.
There have been wonderful visits. Lovely visits getting to know his "new" friends and all. Bittersweet, as the farewells loom from the start. Too little time together. Logically knowing it is the natural order of life. Yet, grasping for just a moment or two longer. Trying to stay present and appreciative. An emotional ping pong match.
Perhaps I didn't pay attention to what other parents were saying as their children left home. Rationalizing that it didn't apply to my life. Man, I should have paid attention. Would it hurt less now if I had tried to find understanding through others' stories? Perhaps. Yet, when they suggest it will get better, I still wonder? When will it get easier? Sixteen weeks and counting...
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